Modern Love, which episode was the one for you?💜

Modern Love. Oh man. All the girls talking about this on Twitter, I had to hop on the hype as well. It truly was a modern version of how love happens or even how breaking a heart happens. I didn't know this, but Modern Love(https://www.nytimes.com/column/modern-love) is a weekly column on the NewYork Times and now it became a tvshow after 15 years. Who knew that Modern Love was a column/ podcast for so long and it didn't get picked up. After watching the whole season, the one that hit me home was "Hers was a world of one".
This episode is actually based off of the amazing Dan Savage's adoption story with his current husband. The article below explains the episode in essence and how Dan's real story reflected on it.

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/10/8570875/modern-love-tobin-andy-dj-adoption-true-story-dan-savage

The reason why it became my favorite episode wasn't the part about the adoption, which was kinda the main essence of this story... but it was this "AHA moment" that Andrew Scott had as playing Tobin, when he was getting pretty annoyed with the girl carrying the baby (who is homeless) they were going to adopt from. He was annoyed by her lack of responsibly, lack of common sense, lack of caring for someone .... in his terms. You will know later on, she was kinda the most caring person of herself and her baby and to Tobin.
But oh boy. She was messy. like very messy. She was all over the place. Brings home random dudes in his home,  (*which was Ed Sheeran !!! *Screaming* ) cooks mysterious food that he doesn't feel quite safe to eat, putting laundry everywhere in the house, and just all the annoying things that happens when you open your house to someone out of generosity, but that person kinda turns it into a shit show. Tobin being the "uptight" "tidy" one in the relationship, he had it. He snapped at her and said some things he will regret later on. Tobin was fed up with the unexpected behavior, unpredictable and free-spirited girl he has let into his life.

Now, this hit home to me so much because I recently was, let's just call it a relationship because surprisingly that's just way more less complicated in this case...lol but I'm in this relationship with this guy, let's call him James, who reminded me so much that I am Tobin. Our dynamic was exactly the same as this episode, I'm the uptight stressed out one, and he was the free-spirited cares less kinda guy. Now, James is so messy, I can't stress enough how messy he was. Every week I come home from my cooperate job tired, he works freely on his own time, so sometimes he spends more time at my house. When I come home there's his clothes everywhere, there's his shit all over my small apartment, he starts putting shit in my living room that he thought was cool, but I didn't. He was all over the place like this girl in the episode. But I noticed both of them have something in common which was the thought of caring in their own way. For James, he cared about me in a way by cooking dinner and preparing food for me after work, he brings "shit" to my house because in the back of his mind, he thinks of me or something regarding me in his head. When I'm clearly mad at him, he looks at me and tells me, I'll clean it up, don't stress and holds me. It still happens, the messiness is still there and to ask for him to be clean or considerate of my space is nearly impossible, but the reason why I still like him for it is because it brings out the unpredictable reaction and perspective I would have never thought I had in me. Now I look at random "shit" on the street consciously to see if anything is good. If I find something cool, I share it to him immediately. I just try to breath a little and if i feel like being lazy I don't push myself and I try to just relax. I look at the world in a less stressful way and just kinda live in the moment and be aware of what's happening around me.  For me and Tobin it just seemed like chaos and disordered not knowing what will happen next, but for James and the girl, it's their way of expressing care and tenderness to the world and people around them. Not being sure of what will happen next, sometimes can bring out the best of you that you never thought you had in you.

Tobin realized that the girl was not purposely tying to hurt him or be disrespectful. It was this colorful world that Tobin never lived in and didn't trust. But once he embraced that part of her, he knew how the unexpected was so good for him.  It opened up possibilities and mindfulness for Tobin that he would have never considered. Being a bit more adventurous, being spontaneous and playful with his words and lifestyle. No one is perfect, he couldn't cook and he didn't want to, but he tried it, and it worked. It wasn't so bad. Nothing is that bad until you try doing it and sometimes it does take someone to bring you to that mental headspace to be open to new worlds. For me, James was the someone who took me to a different world I thought I would never appreciate. The less is more concept. The simplicity in life. You can enjoy life without all the clutter that seems important in the capitalism world we live in. Sometimes it's fun to just look back and don't stress about having everything in line. You can also have a content and happy life with just a hint of unexpectedness. You just need to meet someone out there who will push your back to see the unseen world.

I really recommend listening to their podcast series as well. There was this episode I just listened to about a women meeting her future husband in the bus in Seattle but they ended up getting married after 30 years or something since they met. (They have two kids together but apparently legally they are not married yet because paper work is too much work. haha ) There are so many unexpected relationships in the universe. We live in a world that there is no one way of being in a relationship and these series of stories really gives you that curiosity in life thinking anything can happen and nothing is right or wrong.