I suddenly became someone else at my new job

Hey guys. Hope January was good to you, because believe me, it's been shit for me. Half of the month, I was out of the country so it went by very quick and there were some goodbyes I didn't want to have, some fights that were not necessary with my parents. But All G. Because today, I felt like talking about switching my job last October and how it basically changed my personality ??? in a good way????? kinda???? Today it marked my 3 months switching my new job and I thought of writing something that I learned from my new job. 

Today, I was given a comment by one of my teammates, that I carry myself as a very confident person and that they really rely on me for that. It surprised me so much (will be explained later) but also was very flattering to me to get a compliment that I carry myself as a confident person. I struggle with self-consciousness ever sine I was a teenager. I hated, actually still hate, my body, I get weirdly self conscious when I'm walking in the office and people kinda stare at me so I try to walk like no one will notice me, meaning going through the hallways quickly as possible. So that for someone to tell me, especially coming from a professional environment that I seem confident, is amazing. However, was I like that always at work? No.

My first adult job that I had for 3 and a half years, people assumed that I will be the 'out-spoken one' because I was half American, assuming that I might not follow the customary Japanese workforce culture. I do follow the culture needless to say, because I grew up here, I just look 'foreign' Blah blah blah. You know my opinions about being different looking in Japan irritates me and I'll save that for some other time.
While I look totally different from the typical Japanese women, I actually was this quiet, not so assertive and take initiative at work. Thankfully, my previous job was not the stereotypical Japanese work culture where following orders is everything and you shouldn't do things on your own, but taking initiative was more evaluated. I was told that I needed to take on more jobs on my own and look for new jobs, not wait for them. As I already mentioned, I'm already super self-conscious about small things, I didn't have the ability to take initiative in things. However, of course overtime, I changed a lot in how I approach my work. It takes time getting used to a new job, but the confidence part was always still a struggle.

There are a couple of things I tried at my new job ON PURPOSE. I thought it was a great chance for me to become someone new and once I started this new job new me thing, people started thinking that I'm kinda a badass. (that's a part you laugh) 

1: Just Stop caring too much and do your god damn job

Megumi, no one cares. That's something that all my foreign friends tell me consistently that I care too much about what people will think. So I tied to put my energy somewhere else.  Being super conscious in projecting myself that "I don't care about certain things".
For example, ever since I started working at this new company, I get into work early than others, but I also leave work when it's 6pm sharp. Granted, since I'm only here for 3months now, I didn't have a specific client that I was in charge, so physically I didn't have a lot of responsibilities so it was easier for me to leave work early. But even now that I have clients, I do my job within a certain time and I don't reply on weekends (Duh?). I projected myself that I come in early, leave early, do my job within the time I think it's appropriate and done. I had to tell myself that, yes, this is Japan so they value your overtime work than actual work (I know it sounds ridiculous but it's true), but I'm doing what will be right for me, and if I'm doing my job, who cares about you going home early??? Literally NO ONE. I feel like I discovered something that no one has ever had, lol but fuck, it feels good to do something that you were so afraid to do, and finally when you do it and no one cares??? It feels like I accomplished something. 

2: Confidence comes within? It can come from outwards as well

I changed my hair color super bright before I stared my new job lol I know it's a super stupid thing lol but again, you have to keep in mind, this is Japan. So HOW you let others see yourself really reflects you as a person here. Showing too much skin, too many piercings, tattoos, hair color and all the other bull shit that should not reflect you on how you do your job professionally, does actually have an impact here in Japan. The decision of me changing my hair color pretty bright was a move on my end to tell people, 'yeah, my hair is bright and it might not be your typical sales person in the Japan market, but I can do my job so leave me alone'. That was kinda the message I was trying to give. It sounds so dumb, but honestly be proud of yourself and do whatever feels right to you. How you look should not reflect how you do your job properly. You can change how you look to give yourself a confidence boost. It worked for me.


3: speak my mind (within reason) and always be involved (even though you don't know half of what's going on)

Always talking to people and giving a voice about what you think about things is important. In the western work culture, you are valued to give out an opinion. In Japan, of course some companies value to give out a voice, but the majority is, 'think like everyone else, and don't disagree' is kinda a motto going on around here. Even though I'm this half American person who seems to speak her mind a lot lol , the way I approach my job is very Japanese so believe it or not, it is kinda hard for me to give out my opinion in meetings. I have to consciously make myself speak and sort of push myself to be vocal or else I become kinda quiet.
Also, being a newbie taught me, letting them know that you don't understand something is a great way to show them that you care about your job. To be vocal about things that you don't agree with or understand about, actually gives people a message that you are paying attention on what's going on. 


4: know what your strengths are, and use it in as many situations as possible.

In my case, public speaking is one of my strength so I let people know that that's my strength in the beginning. When you have been working for over 4 years at a company, you know what you're good at and what you should work on. Letting people know you like to do something, it's easier for your bosses or teammates to assign you to projects that might fit you. It gives you a chance to prove your skills in front of them, but even better, it gives YOU the confidence that whether you change your environment, you can do what you're good at no matter what. That's something you should be proud of and use that as your super power.

These are just a couple of things that I tried to do differently, and it sounds like small thing but it did change how people look at me. I'm still surprised that I'm portrayed as this women who is career driven and a confident person, but it does help my performance at work if people think that I have a certain level of confidence and I want to keep it that way, so I would have to keep trying new things that I wouldn't have done before.
I did suddenly became this different person at my new job, but I think having a new job opportunity or moving somewhere new, is a great chance for you to become something that you weren't. It's almost kinda a fun game of 'what do you want to be'. I think it's a great chance that we all get to learn something new about ourselves. Don't twist what I'm trying to say here, you're not becoming someone you're not, you're just adding elements to who you already were hence upgrading yourself, which is a totally cool way of growing as a person.