I'm not on Bumble to make friends bro

As s lonely, single and desperate need of attention girl in the modern day, I was on Bumble the other night swiping through to waist my time. Disclaimer to my friends who are reading this thinking, wait she's on bumble already? I thought she was in a middle of a heart break?! Yes, I was and I am, but I just wanted to feel what's it like to talk to men I don't know again. So much fucking work by the way. Waiting anxiously for their response? Hand picking men who gave a cleaver and witty response or not? Trying to maintain a conversation you're honestly not even that into, but trying to make plans to go out with him because he might be different in real life?

FUCK. Being single in 2020 is the fucking worst and I honestly would have never imagined myself saying this, but fuck dating apps. A year ago, that was my only way of getting a date for myself, but now that I know what a semi relationship is like, going through a brief conversation with someone you don't know and meeting them takes so much fucking time and effort....  All I want is someone to just get me you know????? Is that asking for too much? Fuck I don't know anymore. No one is interesting to me but maybe the deeper question here to ask my stupid self is that, 'Are you even over the guy??? ' The answer is I think a hard NO, I'm not over him. But it's ok. This entry is not about me talking about how I can't get over a guy I liked for over 6 months, it's about why do men on bumble want to become your chatting buddy??????????? BOY, I'm not here to make another fake friend, I have enough of those. (that came out so naturally sorry)

So, here's one episode. I started talking with this guy. He's kinda cute seemed like into wine so thought it will be a good way to just casually maybe meet up with him and have a glass of wine? right?

naturally our conversation was like oh you like wine? I do too. Let's go drink some wine. Not so difficult.  In his words 'take me to a restaurant then'

It doesn't matter he is saying I take him to a place. This happens to me all the time in Japan and I almost want to choose the place. A; I trust my restaurant/bar choices I go to. B: I live here so I know way more better ones than the ones a traveler might have found on google.  

I then went on dropping amazing restaurant names in Tokyo and then he told me 'you pick the one' and we can eat and drink wine. Ok. fine. 

So now I went on asking him what's his plans like in Tokyo or Japan, and how long he was here for. He replied to me that he's here for 5 weeks. SO, if it was the old me, I wouldn't care. I would just go to dinner with him, laugh and talk and say goodbye and never see him again. But it's 2020 and I'm a new bitch now who learned her lessons the hard way. I am not interested in men who will leave anymore. But I was also being a dumb irrational bitch, where I was just in desperate need of attention so what I should have done here was, 'oh I should have made this clear earlier, but I'm not interested in men who's just traveling at the moment. Sorry bye. ' But what I went on doing was 'ok then. when will you be available? ' I think I'm writing this blog because I also want myself to learn already to STOP MEETING MEN WHO WILL LEAVE. But, I never learn I guess. 

I followed up the next day saying, so when will you be available. I even gave out SPECIFIC dates at this point while of course the guys was the one who asked first to say 'let's go out' but didn't follow up to decide when. It's fine. It's just bumble. We all want to meet our future husband, I KNOW! But, we also got no time to be nice to others online who we never met before so I get it.  Just a casual thing for traveling men. ALWAYS. I'm a fucking expert at this shit now. I know what their thought process are. Now when I proposed a date, he went on to say, 'Oh I want to, but my friends are visiting me that time so I'm unsure. Or you can just join us for dinner'. 

I'm sorry what??????????? You were sure to go out last night, but unsure the next day now after you telling me what your schedule is like while you’re here? You know what, honestly I get it. I travel a lot as well, I totally get how unsure you can be with your plans while you’re traveling. But if you’re trying to fit in a 'date' or something like that, you will fucking make time. If this was a quick fuck for him, even more he will manage to make time. If this was a quick fun/ let's make friends thing, I guess still you will try to fit someone into your schedule?? 

OR ELSE WHY DID YOU EVEN STARTED TALKING TO ME??? 

Not only he's unsure of his plans now, he wants to kill two birds with one stone by inviting me to a friendly dinner??? Fuck, he's either dumb as fuck if a girl thinks Oh yeah totally! I would love to join your friends! We already know each other so well, I would love to see your friends and how your credibility is because I'm already SUPER committed. (NO????)

We haven't even talked for over 24 hours and he thinks that I will be comfortable joining his friends for dinner??? Really? Am I tripping on this or what? Do women actually get this from men as well?????? 

Granted, I have a few faults here as well. I didn't state the fact of what I wanted. I should have just said, 'hey, I'm looking for something tangible so I want to be on the same page before going out' Instead yes, I acted irrational and started making date night plans. Also knew that he's a traveler, so even more, I should have said, sorry buddy. Not into it. But fuck. I don't know about you,  but I am not out here on dating apps to fucking make friends. I really am not. Do I really have to tell every guy I talk to on bumble that??? After being off of bumble for over half of year, made me realize even more that clear communication and stating what you want is so important. 

It is so fucking annoying when men try to waist your time nowadays. We don't have time to do the hot and cold shit. We don't have time to test the waters like are we a thing or are we casual? We just don't. At least I don't have the time or fucking energy to play those stupid games someone has created. I don't want to play. All I want is someone to talk to and have a connection and maybe share a life one day. That's it. I have enough friends, and if I'm looking for a friend, I won't be on bumble. sorry but that's a fact and the fact that I have to even say this shit, stresses me out. We need to start somewhere. Chatting up on datings apps will not get you to let's spend our lives together. 

Fuck. I don't know. It's happening to me a couple of times now, but are men just trying to be nice??? Like don't be too straight forward and act like everything is chill and casual ? so you want to invite friends to the first encounter we have? Is that your way of saying 'I'm totes chill" 

Or was this just me not being clear cut as to what I wanted?? Do I really need to tell men, "hey I'm not here to make amigos, so decide if you want to take me out or not and let's see how it goes". 

Does it have to be this hard to go out on just one drink with a guy now? Does a girl have to struggle this much before getting one glass of wine?? 

If this is the future waiting for me, not being able to get a solid date from men on bumble, I don't know what 2020 will look like to me.